trying to think positive
Now Playing: Disguising Mistakes With Goodbyes - Emery
I seriously love Caity more than life itself! She always makes me feel better when I'm upset. I was feeling kind of low about the past few weeks and its events that I wont bother mentioning and she just made me realize I was being stupid. I thought I was a bad person but she made me realize that I'm really not. I just made a few mistakes but they seriously weren't a big deal. Besides, if I learn from my mistakes then I'll be fine. :)

It's over
He just messaged me that we needed to talk so he called me and then was just a jerk about it. Maybe of deserved it but I don't know. I can't help how I feel. And I don't want to be with him and he was just being an idiot about it, he wouldn't just accept it. He kept asking why blah blah blah. Except I did that with John so I guess I understand. I will NOT be doing that anymore. It's so annoying! And then he was like so you just want to focus on school right now and I said yes, I don't really want a boyfriend right now. And he said that was pathetic. Well, I'm off to do some "pathetic" homework.

R E L I E V E D
He just called and said that if I don't mind he's going to go to Martock since I'm still doing homework and that we'll see eachother tomorrow at school. I know I have to get it over with soon but not today !
I'm going to go do a bunch of homework, have supper and watch some more sex and the city. I love life right now.

There's too much pressure
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Nothing Better - The Postal Service

He just called. I've been avoiding hanging out with him all weekend and now I'm down to my last excuse, I have to do my homework first.
I said I just wanted to be friends so we're on a break but I just want to be broken up! Is friends going to be possible now? I can't even stand the sound of his voice now because I know how much he wants to get back together. He always talks to Caity about it. Would it be awful to not hang out with him today ? Can't I just tell him over the phone if he asks. I know everyone thinks it's so bad to do over the phone, but I already tried it in person and look where that got me. I wish I could take back the boyfriend/girlfriend phase. I don't want our friendship to be ruined but now I think it's inevitable.

I'm just trying to conceal my identity I guess
Now Playing: Walk The Line Soundtrack
I just went through my old blog entries and just intialized some of the names haha Am I a loser for doing that? I love writing on here but in all honesty I don't really want people who know me to read this. I'm writing pretty much whatever I feel and I don't know if I'd want everyone to see that. I left some of the names from a long time ago because it was so long ago that I just don't really care. So maybe it's unecessary for me to conceal people's identities because pretty soon I won't even care anymore. I just think that this blog thing should be for me. And complete strangers, because I don't want anyone to be able to read all of that in one sitting. Except if anyone who knows me really well read this, they would definately know it's me, because people like Caity (CK) haha know everything about me. And the music and situations are probably dead give aways. Caity's my best friend and I'm so lucky to have her. She listens to all my problems and I listen to all of hers. We have a lot of fun together. Ma petite kell haha
Anyways, I think I'm going to bed because last night I was up until 1:30 and up early because of KB. I convinced my mom that she dreamt that I got home an hour past my curfew, I thought that was pretty great ;) I got out of being grounded for a week from the car so I'm satisfied.